


Sex Tapes & Saints

by petpluto



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petpluto/pseuds/petpluto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I didn't see the whole thing, alright?" </p><p>How did Weevil come to see part of Veronica's sex tape?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Tapes & Saints

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. Just having a bit of fun.

The thing he didn’t expect at this job, the thing he’s never expected in his life, is to see Vee’s tits on a screen being gawked at by Carl, his slightly shifty and probably sexually depraved coworker.

“What the fuck is that?” Weevil demands, and he’s vacillating between abject horror, impotent rage, and a third thing he’s choosing not to identify. Because Veronica is hot, but she is also a friend. And, she’s deadly to mess with. Enjoying this in any way - even against his better judgement - is a sure fire way to get tased in the ass, and he very much doesn’t want that to happen.

“Oh, this, amigo, is a college girl gone wild.” Carl looks like he’s drooling, like he hasn’t blinked since the video started running. Weevil pauses a moment to wonder why people automatically go to ‘amigo’, like it confers some kind of authenticity on them because they throw in a Spanish word they got from watching Looney Tunes cartoons when talking to him. He pauses another moment to wonder why his brain has decided to short circuit at this point in time, when he should be wholly focused on this horror show of Vee’s sex tape debut. He thinks he may be panicking. They both watch as Veronica makes a move down the body of a boy who looks like he should be in a pop group. Weevil closes his eyes tightly.

“Carl, shut it off.”

“Nah, man, you gotta see this. It’s coming on the best part.” Against his better judgement, Weevil opens his eyes and catches a glimpse of what Carl considers the ‘best part’. Grabs the guy by the collar, and slams him against the wall directly to their left. 

“Don’t,” he growls out, and stalks back to the browser. Where Vee, in a desire to not do anything ever to help his life go smooth, is writhing around. There aren’t enough Hail Marys in the world to deal with this shit. Quits out of the browser entirely.

Carl is standing there, stunned. “Hey, if you had such a big problem with the internet porn, you could have just told me. I wouldn’t have watched it in the room with you all those times.”

“I’m gonna skip over the fact that you should never watch porn with another guy in the room with you,” Weevil grinds out, “and go straight to where in the hell you got that?”

“It was e-mailed to me. As an attachment. Man, everyone is getting it. You got it, too.”

“What?” He spares a few moments to pray to every saint he can name that Veronica isn’t breaking into his e-mail right now for some random surveillance he swears she does on everyone she thinks she trusts. 

Carl nods. “Saw it pop up on your screen a couple of times. After I’d already e-mailed it to you.”

Weevil closes his eyes. “How many times did you watch it?”

“Around six. Why?”

“Because,” Weevil says grimly. “I gotta know how many times I gotta kick your ass.”

Carl is starting to look legitimately scared of him, something he’s failed to impress upon the guy before. Even with the whole, ‘arrested for murder’ thing, and the ‘head of a biker gang' thing. Of course, when it’s for Veronica is when he finally seems scary enough to fear. He tries to not read into that. “Dude, is she like your girlfriend or something? Because I swear, I had no idea.”

“Or something.” He stops in his advancement on Carl. If he’s already gotten this a couple of different times from a couple different people, there’s very little chance Vee doesn’t know about this yet. Which is good, because that means he doesn’t have to be the one to break it to her; and bad, because it means she’s probably going around half cocked and ready for a fight. And the Muppet Boy she was caught doing the dirty with doesn’t look like he’s the kind of guy who can help her.

“Listen,” he tells his fellow maintenance worker. “You cover my shift for the rest of the day, you delete that e-mail, and you never watch that file again, and I’ll knock it down from I knock your teeth in six times to three. Got it?”

Carl nods, and Weevil’s pleased to see he looks a bit shaken. “Sure, Weevil. Whatever you say. I just - is she that hot in real life?”

Weevil glares, and walks off as fast as his bum leg will let him. Is Vee that hot in real life? Yeah. She is. She’s also someone who’s going to make every single person involved with this pay. He’s going to find her, and make sure he can help her make that happen. It’s the rules of the little game they live by.


End file.
